Changes

(for the record, that's not the brilliant blog post title I wanted.  but at the end of the day, that's the basic subject of what you're about to read. and it's more important to me to get all of this said than to come up with a witty title.)

(also this post is gonna be long. sorry.)

I have lots of internet friends. Some I've met in real life, some I may never meet in real life, but I actually feel closer to them than you might imagine.  One of those awesome internet-friends-I-just-haven't-met-yet-but-I-know-we'd-be-besties friends is Bex.

Bex is rad.

Bex sent me a CD full of Nate Ruess music (Fun., yes, but also stuff from when he sang with The Format).

Bex (indirectly) encouraged me to read Bukowski and watch The Big Bang Theory.  These are all reasons Bex is the bomb.edu, but I want to talk about a post she wrote recently (real recently...like, published today) in which she basically set up camp inside my brain and put into words many of the things that I haven't been able to quite articulate yet.  Here in a moment or two, I'm going to straight up copy/paste some of her sentiments and then add my comments.  But first...

Anyone who knows me (and knows me well) will have noticed that, over the past 10 months or so, I have made some pretty drastic changes.  I stopped drinking soda, cleaned up my eating, and lost 20lbs (and counting, I hope).  I stopped drinking alcohol. I started spending more time at home. I got back into a habit of spending time with the Bible and reading my devotional emails and trying to live a Christ-focused life. I started saying "no" to things.

I'm trying to simplify.

All of these things have made a couple of things very clear to me...the first and most important was that I needed to start making Christ a priority again.  The (very close) second was that I have not been the type of wife I should've been trying to be from "I do." The third was that, even with all these awesome internet friends...all you really need is a close circle of real life friends.  K.I.S.S. and all that.  Keep it simple, stupid.

I'm trying to recognize which friendships are worth cultivating and making daily, real effort to maintain, and recognize which ones are surface, online, fringe friendships that probably don't need to take up a whole lot of energy or drama or stress. Please understand what I'm saying here. Nobody is a throw-away friend. I wish ill on nobody. All I'm saying is...simplify. 

I need to prioritize.

What makes me happy? Actually, what makes my husband happy? What makes my Creator happy? Is what I'm doing making all 3 of us happy? Because that's what matters.

So onto the Lovely Bex and her amazing words that seemed to reflect what I've been stressing over lately:

I'm here to tell you that sometimes it's okay to be selfish. There's a difference between being selfish and being self-centered in that selfish can be temporary, whereas self-centered rarely is. Sometimes you're worn down by constant demands that are made by loved ones and/or coworkers. Hell, sometimes you demand too much of yourself. It's okay to take a step back and breathe, because here's something that took me too damn long to learn -- it's okay to say "no" to people. You can say no to hanging out if you want to stay in. You can say no to a phone conversation if you know that you'll just be dead air to the other end of the line. You can say no to favors. If your friends know you well enough, they'll back off. They know as well as you do that if they had a crisis in the middle of the night, you'd still show up with no hesitation. Needing time to yourself is not synonymous with being a jerk.

Word, Bex.

You guys, if I'm saying "no" to things and wanting to stay home instead of going to the bars, or not taking the ONE day I have off and going to see your show, stop taking it personally. It's not you, it's me. I just need to recharge. I need to do what's best for me. 

It's okay to re-prioritize your life even though some people may not make the cut... and it's okay not to miss those people, too. Usually it means you've made the right decision. You'll get nostalgic occasionally, but it's mostly nostalgia for the fun or the happiness you had with the people in question. In our everlasting instinct to want to think the best of people, our memories turn to the happy times when we reminisce. If you've ever been upset over the end of a crappy relationship, you know how this goes. People change. You change. As the age-old proverb goes, change is the only constant.

Speaking of which, it's okay to change. You are not betraying anyone by growing as a person (and if they act like it is a betrayal, seriously, it's time to re-evaluate your social circle). Life is too short to pretend to be something or someone you're not just to appease other people or keep from hurting their feelings. Some people want to travel, others are homebodies. Some people want to get married, some will never get out of their party animal stage. Some people want kids, some people don't. Some people need friends outside of their marriage, others are perfectly content with their spouse and their family.  It's okay to be any of these things, as long as you don't lie to others -- or yourself -- about who you really are and where your heart truly is.

Some of those are...whoa...I mean get out of my head, Bex. The colored text (I added the color to point it out) is something I've been trying to verbalize for a couple of weeks now.  

Facebook has put a pressure on all of us to hang out all the time and stay completely invested in the lives of our 400 friends. I really wish I had a nickel for every time I've seen an "I miss you so much let's hang out!" and it just seems...rote. Borderline insincere at times.  But here's the thing...it's okay! I really don't mind if you don't wanna hang out with me; nor should you mind ("you" being the general population here, of course) if I only want to stay informed of your life based on what you choose to share on social media. It's really, really okay. I love seeing parts of your life, "liking" your photos and whatnot...but it's really really okay if we don't keep putting this ridiculous pressure on finding a time to get coffee, which is probably something neither of us really wants to do, so let's just be honest about that. 

I don't expect my hundreds of Facebook friends (does that make me sound like an a-hole? I don't mean to...) to put in a whole lot of effort to keep up with me outside my public timeline. I won't do the same for all of them.  Put that energy into the friendships worth cultivating, and you'll save everyone a lot of hurt feelings and awkwardness. It's really okay.

Re: it's okay to change -- yes.  It's okay for me to change.  It's okay if you change. It's okay if you don't change. I don't drink alcohol at the moment...I don't care if you DO.  I want to stay home with my husband on a Friday night...I don't care if you wanna go OUT.  It's okay to be different and to have different priorities. I don't feel judged at all for my recent choices, but it's important to me that my friends know that neither do I judge them for theirs (unless they are harmful, of course, but that's coming from a place of concern and compassion, not judgment).

If someone is incandescently happy, don't you think you should be happy for them too?  Don't you think that they might have walked through the fires of hell to get to their happiness? Don't you think that if you focused a little bit more on yourself and how to escape your struggles that you'd eventually find your own happiness (and want to shout about it from the rooftops)?  I mean, I know it takes less effort to sit, sulk, and snark (and if that's what you choose to do, then I sincerely pity you) ... but what will you ever truly accomplish with your life if that's your attitude toward someone you claim to love who is happy?

Okay Bex, I hear ya. This one, I am guilty of doing to others. Part of my personal growth in the last year has been learning to recognize and admit to my flaws.  This is one of mine.  I get bitter, sometimes. I get angry when I feel like others seem to have every possible fortune bestowed upon them, when I'm struggling to make ends meet or don't get cast in a show or....am having a fat day while they (rightly) announce meeting their next weight loss milestone. I don't think I tend to dwell (for long, anyway) on my struggles so much, but I DO have to fight a knee-jerk reaction to be bitter, rather than happy for friends. I have to be proactive about remembering my own gifts and blessings and talents.

I'm...working on it. And yes, I know that "I'm working on it" and "I'm aware of it" do not give me carte blanche to be an asshole.  I'm going to mess up and struggle, but please know that it is something I'm aware of.

I recently turned 31. I'll blog about the actual birthday and all of it's awesomeness soon (all my pictures are at home, and by the time I get home, I'm sick of looking at a computer screen). I thought that, by my 30s, I'd have more of this all figured out.

I don't.

But I'm making changes, and they feel good. I truly hope the same for you...for my "fringe friends" and for my close friends, I wish you the same clarity and simple happiness...whether that comes on a quiet patio with a cup of coffee or surrounded by music and loud laughter and talking and people!

And I ask your forgiveness if I've hurt you or made you feel judged or unhappy on this journey of mine. It's my responsibility to not take the stumbling blocks along the way and use them as an excuse to bring you down with me.

Now, go get yourself another cookie (or bagel, or pickle, or whatever it is you are craving) for making it through another long post!

To-Do List

Because I wanted an easy blog to post today, and because I do what I'm told....

I got this from Jared, who got it from Tyler.  What's on YOUR to-do list?

A month? Really?

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted. Seriously, guys, I'm SO sorry! For all three of you who actually read this blog, you must have been on pins and needles!

So what's been going on with me? Well...a lot.

Work has been really insane for the past three weeks or so, and will probably continue to be insane for another three weeks. It's deadline season around here, and we're all working long hours to make sure that our final product is as helpful and informative as it can be to new and prospective students. Whew.

Operaboy and I both have been REALLY busy with our respective rehearsal schedules, him with Fort Worth Opera (he's working on three operas with them right now: Carmen, La Cenerentola, and Dead Man Walking), and I with Crazy For You (that whole process is going to be a blog entry on its own here soon...I promise).

The puppy is doing VERY well. Carmen has adapted to her new home wonderfully. She's learning commands and has just about mastered "sit" and "lay down," but we're still having trouble with "stay" and "stop biting me b/c your little needle baby teeth hurt like a bitch." Yeah we'll keep working on that one. Here's our first family picture, from Easter:



Oh, and due to a director's choice, I am now playing Irene as a VERY sassy redhead:



It's a pretty big change, but I LOVE it. My favorite compliment so far has been that I strongly resemble X-Men character Jean Grey/Phoenix. To wit:



Pretty badass, huh? :)

And yes, Operaboy loves the hair color.

So...work and shows. And Carmen. That's really it! I'd like to say I've been up to much more exciting things, but alas, I have not.

How are you?

Carmen, je t'aime!

Everybody, meet Carmen. Carmen, meet everybody.

Obviously, we kept the dog.

We did put up lots of a few "Found Puppy" signs and we DID take her to the vet so that we could have her scanned for a microchip (none were found, btw, but they DID find fleas, ticks and worms. Yay.). So, she's been ours for just over a week now.

Operaboy has been FANTASTIC with her, since he's home during the day. The result of which is that she loves him more than she loves me, but that's okay. She snuggles with Mommy on the weekends while Daddy sleeps in.

Right now we're in the middle of potty training and crate training, neither of which are easy OR fun. She kept me up, whining, until 3:30am on Monday night, so yesterday was a very bleary-eyed day for me. We also think she was a bit mad at us on Monday night. She fought us tooth and nail on her last dose of worming medication (nummy!) and peed in the house 3 times that day (for which she was promptly taken outside and left there while we cleaned up), AND we put her in her crate alone for the first time in the living room while we slept. Ack. I was ready to punt her across the street by yesterday morning.

However, yesterday was a VERY good day. No messes in the house, she went on a walk with us on her new leash, and she stayed in the crate for a few hours at a time during the day yesterday so that she could get acclimated to it. No whining last night from what I've heard anyway (I crashed at 9pm after going all day on 4 hours sleep yesterday). She's being VERY good. Operaboy said she even hung out in her crate (with the door open) for a few hours yesterday evening while he worked on his opera.

Which brings me to her name...

Operaboy is preparing for and learning three opera choruses right now in preparation for his upcoming gig with Ft. Worth Opera. One of them happens to be Bizet's Carmen. He was working on this opera when we found the puppy, AND she's kind of a little gypsy (since we found her wandering) AND we've always wanted to pick an operatic or musical name for our first pet. Thus she was christened Carmen.

NOT Sarah Brightman, as my friend Justin so strongly recommended, though he continues to call her that.

So, I guess we expanded our family before we were ready, but we're blessed nonetheless. Let's hope this trend DOES NOT continue, if you get my drift.

But really...how could we say no to that face?

Found a puppy!

This morning as Operaboy and I were leaving the house, we noticed we had a visitor!

Operaboy kept looking over at our hedges near the gate to the backyard with a funny look on his face, and I said "What are you doing? Let's go!" Finally he said, "Do you hear that?" I stopped and I heard what he was talking about...our hedges were rustling. Suddenly a sweet little puppy face popped out!

She had burrowed herself way back into our hedges. She went right back in and came out on the other side and made her way toward me cautiously (and I her in the same fashion). She looked very wobbly, which implied either fear or youth (or both) to me. She wasn't wearing a collar or tags, either. :( I had to go to work, and as we were driving away she backed herself back into the hedge (very odd behavior).

When Operaboy got home, he got in G-mail chat and told me that he'd let her in the house (ack!) and that she was passed out watching ESPN. Haha! Those are the pictures above. She was very sweet to him and not bitey or aggressive at all. I told him to let her outside and go get her some food, at least until we can put up some flyers and/or call the newspaper.

I'll take some better pictures of her face tonight to make the flyers, but we think she might have a little pit bull in her, and maybe some beagle, based on her eyes, coloring, and ears. Who knows, though. This is bad...I want her! I am already thinking of names for her, which I really shouldn't do b/c I'll just get attached!

Part of me is hoping that nobody will claim her! One of the LAST things we need right now is a puppy, but she did find our house, so who knows! I'll update when I can...

Happy Inauguration Day!

Well, like it or not, today we usher in a new president of the United States. Whether or not you voted for him, it's happening anyway and I hope that everyone can agree that we are due for some changes in our country (ahem, and in our economy) and that we can all rally behind President Obama for what is sure to be a very interesting next few years. God bless you, Mr. Obama, and...well...best of luck. :)

So, how was everyone's long weekend?

Here's a quick recap of mine:

Mini-cast parties had: 1

Traffic tickets gotten for MA license plates: 1

Times I've nearly sliced off my finger with a brand new kitchen knife: 1 (I am wearing the Peanuts band-aid to prove it)

NFC Championships won: 0. ZERO. Jerks.

Pairs of new jeans purchased at Kohl's: 1

Dresses found that will be perfect for my costume for the show: 1

YouTube videos that have made me laugh til I cried: 1 (see post below)

Times I've worked out: 3 (!!!!!!!)

So yes, it's been both a productive and a frustrating weekend, to say the very least. I did get a stupid traffic ticket for having Massachusetts license plates, still, which I think is RIDICULOUS. I mean honestly. The car is insured and the inspection is current. I really don't think it should matter. Whatever. At least, since I got pulled over for speeding, he only gave me the ticket for the plates, so hopefully I can get them replaced ASAP and get the ticket dismissed.

Yes, I nearly thought I'd have to go to the emergency room on Sunday night when I was washing dishes, which included one of our very new, very sharp knives and I nearly took the top half of my index finger off. All is well, though, and I have a bright and happy band-aid on it.

Yes, the Eagles nearly gave me a heart attack. But is this really news? They should have just lost it badly as they were the entire first half of the game. But noooooooooooo, they had to come back in the 3rd and 4th quarters and get the lead before reaching in, ripping out my heart, and stomping it to the ground. Yes, I cried. Don't judge me.

"Company" rehearsals are going quite well. I've felt very inspired to blog about the experience, or at least journal it offline, ever since finding this link last Friday. It's Kristin Huffman's ("Sarah" in the 2006 revival) journal of the process of putting the show together before it went to Broadway. I drank in every word she wrote and have since become rather obssessed with this amazing piece of theater we're putting together. Last night was our first full run through all of the music, and tonight, we start staging. ::claps hands excitedly::

So...I'm off to get some actual work done before slipping across the hall to News Services to watch the inauguration coverage. I hope to squeeze in a Teaser Tuesday later, but it may not happen. Happy Tuesday/Inauguration day!

Feelin' kinda Sunday

Well I feel better today. Yesterday I was just kind of gloomy most of the day, and I don't know why. Today was better, thank goodness.

The Eagles won, thereby increasing my heartburn as they progress through the playoffs. Supposedly everyone after the Giants are much more manageable than the Giants. We'll see. Operaboy keeps saying things like "When the Eagles play/win the Super Bowl..." and I just have to run from the room with my hands over my ears so that I can get to the nearest wooden item on which to knock. Football gives me hives.

Unpacking is progressing along. I've been hanging pictures whilst watching the Golden Globes in a half-assed way (it's only interesting towards the very end when the stars are drunk. Case in point: Dustin Hoffman...whom I'm afraid will any minute now be eaten by a suddenly quite large Emma Thompson). This place is actually starting to look like a home now.

Back into the hornet nest tomorrow (pun intended, for those of you that will get it). Ah, Monday. I'm actually looking forward to another week of rehearsals with some of the most talented people I've ever met.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

Testing, 1...2...

Wow. There's nothing like resolving to begin and continue 2009 with being positive to test the Fates, is there?



In the past 24 hours alone I have learned that:

• Someone I respect and admire VERY much was laid off from his job


• A friend via the internets has suffered a devastating miscarriage (is there any other kind?)


• A wonderful friend from HS is in the hospital. I can guess why, but the other friend who told me doesn't feel at liberty to elaborate without my friend's permission (which is frustrating, but which I can completely respect).

It's just...I don't know...really hard to digest sometimes without allowing the stress to overwhelm me. The emotional being that pervades most of the time wants to start to hyperventilate, cry, etc. until things get resolved, but the tinier (yet growing stronger) part of me that sees logic and the power of prayer and calm is slowly making herself a more prominent fixture.

Alone, I can handle these events. When thrown at me BAM BAM BAM without warning, it's a bit harder to comprehend and take a step back from it all and compartmentalize.

I think that the hardest part for me is that every part of me wants to fix things for them. I'm a bleeding heart, and I freely admit that.

So, rather than panicking, I'm blogging, so that the time it takes to type everything out allows time for me to take deep breaths, pause, and lift each one of them and their families up in prayer that God will hold them in His healing hands (whether or not they want Him to) and make their burdens light.

Guh.

Yes, that's how articulate I'm feeling right now: guh.

I'm EXHAUSTED! Suddenly it's almost 8pm? Where has the day gone? Oh yeah...woke up early, FiOS people came out (one of whom was a total dreamboat, btw...my mom and I were lovin' that), went to Home Depot twice, fought with the showerhead for about a half an hour, cleaned the refrigerator for what just might be the first time in 20 years, etc. etc. etc...

But we're here!!!! As of last night, we are officially inhabitants of the Operahaus. I do have more pictures, I just don't have the energy to upload them right now. And Operaboy is telling me that we have to go grocery shopping tonight (no! noooooooooo!!!!!!).

Tomorrow on the docket? Baby shower for a dear friend from High School (what, we're having BABIES now?? Geez) and continuing the unpacking process.

I hope the 2nd day of 2009 was fun for everyone...I'm gonna go crash on the couch until Operaboy peels me off to go shopping...

::FistPump!::

So.....

the auditions went well last night, and I got the role of AMY, which is exactly the role I wanted (and posted a YouTube clip of in a previous post). Woo hoo!

And in the "so cute I could puke" section of today's news, Operaboy got cast as my character's fiancé, Paul.

Hoorah! I'm VERY excited to get to work on what promises to be a GREAT show, with a dynamite cast.

Oh and I just noticed that this marks this blog's 50th post. I feel like there should be some sort of celebration? Perhaps I'll wait til the 100th for that.

A New Game

So Operaboy and I have started a new "game" in the mornings while we're both getting ready to leave for the day. It didn't start out as a game, but it's become one...and a quite fun (and funny) one at that.

Maybe it's because we're both musicians and perhaps we're the only people that this happens to, but every morning -- WITHOUT fail -- I wake up with a song stuck in my head. Usually it's random, but it could also be something I've been rehearsing recently.

One morning last week I was towel-drying my hair, and Operaboy came into the bathroom with his index finger extended toward me. He said, "Quick! Sing what song's in your head RIGHT NOW!"

Without missing a beat (literally), I started singing the alto part to one of the movements from the Canite Tuba (a piece we recently did with the Bach Society). He laughed and sang something I can't remember at this moment.

Since then, we've done it a couple of times a week, and this morning I decided that we need to do it every morning. We'll make it our "thing." Don't judge. It's actually quite fun. :)

Oh, in case you're wondering, here are today's results:

Me: "To the left, to the left, all your things in a box to the left..." (Beyonce -- Irreplaceable)
He: "Bobby come on over for dinner..." (Company by Stephen Sondheim)

Also please note that I'm putting exactly what we started singing...that does NOT always mean they're the right words/lyrics.

The Wall of Mirrors is down!

And no, that's not a metaphor. Here are some pics of work we did at the OperaHaus this weekend:

The Wall of Mirrors. This has been a staple of the house for as long as I can remember. That's me in the front doorway. Hi!

Operaboy and my mom working on the mirrors (which were all very stubborn).

Me in the doorway again. Working hard, can you tell?

Stepmom going in and scraping all the black crap off so we could sand, texture & paint eventually.

About to take off the LAST MIRROR! This was an historic moment, let me tell you.

Pretty, huh? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Look at what we found under the (nasty) carpet! Brown linoleum! Yay!

Operaboy being shown the proper way to roll up old carpet. Yeah you can tell he's excited.

As you can see even by this little glimpse into one room of the house, we have a lot of work to do. But, you can also see that we have lots of help! I'm excited to take all of you loyal readers (both of you) along this journey with us. Yay for home repairs!!

Another Perspective -- Voting for McCain/Palin

Ask and ye shall receive! Since I posted my friend's perspective recently on why he chose to vote for Obama/Biden, I was hoping that someone would post, in response, why he/she chose to vote for McCain/Palin. A very dear friend from high school (has it really been almost 10 years since I've seen him??) indulged me. Here is his response:

Hey! I'm voting for McCain/Palin for a number of reasons. But here are the
basics.

1 Economy: A free market economy needs less regulation to thrive. Our economy has grown to be the strongest in the world based on these principals. I was against the bail out package and I am against bigger government.

2.Taxes: I believe that America should have a flat tax with no write offs, deductions or IRS. Increased taxes on upper and middle class will have a negative impact economic growth. Less money will mean less growth in small companies and corporate america. I love the idea of socialism. However, it has proven ineffective in many Eastern European and Asian countries over the last century. Whether democratic of totalitarian socialism the leadership has proven to become corrupted. Increased laws and regulations undoubtedly stifle economic growth and citizens end up with a lower, albeit equal quality of life. The rich Americans should be helping out the less fortunate. I do not believe that government should be the one giving handouts. I should choose where my money goes and how much to give.

3. Energy: I believe that energy will work itself out. The government should not subsidize solar, wind, or any other alternative energy source. When fuel prices get as high as they did Americans began addressing the problem itself. T. Boone Pickens and others have privately funded solar energy and natural gas growth. I hate our energy dependence on anti-american middle eastern countries and venezuela. But the way to solve it is by letting our free market economy work.

4. Abortion: Abortion is an issue that I am not willing to waiver on. In my opinion life begins the second an egg is fertilized and no one but God has the right to take that life.

In general I believe in smaller government. I can make better decisions with my retirement, health care, and charity than government. I'd be happy to talk more. I love politics!

I think this is really a turning point for America. Are we going to continue doing what got us here, or change direction and follow the role of Western Europe? I don't care how people vote, just be informed and take the time to invest in our future.

Well said! I learned a few things from his perspectives, that's for sure.

In response to his comments, another friend posted the following:

I agree. This is a huge turning point for our country. This election is about one issue to me. Capitalism vs. Socialism. I don't think capitalism is perfect, but without question Capitalism is far more superior than Socialism.

I don't currently make over $250,000/year, but:

a. I work for a company that does = lower wages for me in the future.

b. I own stocks in companies that Obama calls "Big Business"

c. I own stocks

d. I have a very small business and in my absurd "pursuit of happiness", hope to work very hard and grow this business into a bigger one, thus making lots of money. I don't want to give 35-60% of this money to the government. I would like to hire people and create opportunity.

e. I, like McCain, think that it is not government's responisibility to redistribute our money. I would rather trust my money invested in free market.

Blue.

My grandfather is dying.

I know, not exactly the most uplifting way to start a blog post, but I might as well come out with it.

It's not like this is new news. Mere days after my Nana passed away last year, my Papa was diagnosed with lung cancer. The fact that we're almost a year later and he's still with us is a huge blessing, but it's difficult at the same time. After his first round of chemotherapy nearly killed him, he opted not to take the second round. Well, as can be expected, it's getting worse.

He was admitted to the hospital on Saturday for breathing problems and stomach/chest pain, and they sent the scope down and found nothing in his esophagus or stomach, so they concluded that the tumors in his lungs and in the abdominal wall are likely growing and subsequently causing more pain and difficulty breathing.

So now he has 3 options:

1. He can take radiation, and the risks involved.
2. He can take a medication that's $3200 a month, and not guaranteed to improve anything or extend his life.
3. He can do nothing.

I honestly don't know what to think. It breaks my heart. I just pray and ask God to take away Papa's pain and suffering...however He so chooses.

I think what is the most upsetting to me (and not just about Papa but also about Operaboy's grandfather, who is going to be 93 next May and is bedridden) is to see the shell of such a strong man. I mean here are two men who, respectively, laid brick in most of the houses on his street and the other was a doctor in the war and had a family practice for years....and now they need help doing the simplest of things, such as bathing and going to the bathroom. It has to be so frustrating and humiliating for them and it breaks my heart.

I also don't like being here for it. I know that sounds so selfish and tacky, but it's true. When Nana died, and when Operaboy's uncle died last year, I wasn't there when they died. I was hundreds, if not thousands of miles away. I was able to grieve on my own, and handle the news and process it on my own before going to the services.

Here, I'm right in the middle of every breaking development, every new story, etc. And I hate it. I don't know how to handle it.

Well, that's not true. I do know how I would handle it. I just don't know how to handle it when my family handles things in a much more dramatic way (picture lots of negativity and weeping and gnashing of teeth), and I'm much more internal about it. Therefore I appear cold and heartless, which is just not fair.

I look for anything positive in the situation, and refuse to give someone up as a bad job just because of what a doctor says. That helps me. Even when he dies, I'll be able to find so much peace knowing that he's back with his Betty (my nana) and his Lord. It's not to say that I won't be sad. Of course I will be. It freaking sucks if you want to know how I really feel.

I'm just having a hard time processing all of this. I know this post is kind of verbal diarrhea (sp?), so I promise to post again soon with more better stuff.

Blessings!

See, I promised I'd blog again soon. :)

Good news this week! I was offered a job at my alma mater, and I accepted! This is a prime example of God working in our life before we even knew it. Here's a little backstory...

When we decided to move back to Texas from Boston, we had two options: 1)we could begin applying for jobs, hope to get an offer, then move back, or 2)we could move back on a wing and a prayer (or lots) and start looking for work ASAP. We decided on option 2, and for a while now recently I've been wondering whether or not that was the right decision.

Fast forward to our wedding, which was two weeks after we made The Big Move. My boss from a job I worked as a student employee my last semester was in attendance. I jokingly asked her if she needed anyone in her office, and to my surprise she answered that she was going to be posting a position soon, and to call her when we returned from the honeymoon.

Fast forward to now. Over the past few weeks, I've been in contact with her so that I would know when the job was posted officially, and the correct avenues to take in order to apply. I interviewed on Monday of this week, and was made an offer on WEDNESDAY!! Praise God!

I don't normally like to pray for specific things; I prefer to tell God that I want His will done in my life. However, I was praying hardcore for this specific job. There are many reasons why (most of them financial...we were going to be in a world of hurt soon, if I hadn't started earning a paycheck soon), but I think the biggest reason was that I feel comfortable there. I know that I can really launch a career there. I can start taking classes towards a Master's degree eventually. I mean the list of "pros" of this job goes on and on and on.

I feel SO blessed, and Operaboy is equally excited for me. He actually jumped up and down when I told him I got the offer. Cute. :)

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers and good vibes over the past month. More are certainly appreciated as I begin the job and as Operaboy still looks for work.

We did it!

I know, I know! All that stuff about starting blogging again, and it's been HOW long since I posted the last time? To be fair, we DID move across the country, get married, go on our honeymoon, and begin the depressing cycle of job-hunting and being broke and bored. So really, there's nothing keeping me from blogging since I am so broke. And bored.

The wedding was AMAZING! I'll have my CD of pictures soon and will be able to post some of my favorites and highlights, but for now, here's an excellent sampling from my photographer's blog.

My photographer, by the way, is probably THE most excellent I've seen in my entire life. Check her out (link on sidebar) -- Lynn Michelle, thank you for making my wedding day memories SO beautiful!

So then there was the honeymoon, and THAT was a trip! Disneyworld was DEFINITELY the way to go!



I've got a GREAT job lead now that we're back, and I hope to hear something by the end of this week or the beginning of next....Operaboy is in the process of looking into teaching voice again, and hopefully soon we'll be back on our feet and in our own place!

That's really all that's going on for now, but with the MLB playoffs coming up, the Election (and all that encompasses), I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about!

Stay tuned!