Be Kind

Hey, remember back in July (when I was a blog-posting FOOL, yo) when I wrote this guest post over on Laura's blog?

Since that post, the Denton Women's Collective has been VERY busy with lots of activities, including but not limited to being featured on the Operation Beautiful web site:

...having a clothing swap (with all not-taken clothes being donated to a women's shelter), educating ourselves (well...themselves, since I've not been to a meeting in 2 months because of the show) by watching other documentaries, and sponsoring a sweet, beautiful little girl in India.

Wow.  I just got goosebumps thinking about all of that, so let me just take a little side path here to say something...

I've found in recent months that I am at my best when I focus on one thing (outside of my family and my job, of course) at a time.  When I was involved with Café des Artistes, it pretty much consumed me.  With the very nature of what that show was about, I think that's okay...and even necessary.  But if you're used to a lifetime of never being able to say "no" and loading your proverbial plate so full that you can't carry it anymore, it's hard not to feel guilty about not being able to handle many different activities/commitments.

The last few days, I've felt so much contentment and relaxation.  The show ended (very successfully), I had a wonderful holiday and 4-day weekend with my friends, family and, most importantly, my hubby and puppy, and I feel like I'm ready to pick back up on a few things, such as working out (no REALLY) and the DWC activities.  Luckily, this group is run by some INCREDIBLE, dedicated females who have kept all the juggling balls in the air and have been patient and loving with my inability to handle the stress of participating.  To them, I say a heartfelt "thank you."

So, what better way to get back into the swing of things than with a public screening of the documentary Finding Kind! I can't WAIT to participate with these girls during the screening(s) and I am praying that the girls, their mothers, and the administrators will view this with open hearts and minds and make active changes in their schools and communities to stop girl-on-girl crime. 

Here are the details:

When:
Wednesday, November 30th at 6:30pm
OR
Thursday, December 1st at 4:30pm

Where:
Flower Mound High School
3411 Peters Colony Road
Flower Mound, TX 75022


I can't wait to see what comes from this, and I'm so thankful and grateful to know such amazing young women who care so much about these issues...enough to organize and collaborate with FMHS and the PTA to make this happen.

We may not all be smart...we may not all be beautiful...we may not all be talented...but we CAN all be kind.

Thankful

I really love Thanksgiving. I daresay it's my favorite holiday. I mean, I do LOVE Christmas, but because Thanksgiving is kind of the redheaded stepchild of holidays (in that it gets so quickly and carelessly passed over in favor of Christmas), I feel a connection to it. Also, I cook a lot more for Thanksgiving and am much more involved in planning and organizing than I am at Christmastime (when I'm usually just a pawn in the family plans and just wait to be told where to go and when).

Every year I cook the same couple of things: homemade cranberry sauce (none of that gelatinous canned crap for me, thankyouverymuch), corn casserole, and a ham. Yes, a ham.  We have turkey AND ham at Thanksgiving dinner because...well, that's just how we roll. 

Get it?? ROLL?!  Ahahahahahaha.

Ahem.

Anywho, this year was no different. I woke up at 6am on Thanksgiving morning, made a pot of coffee, and preheated the oven for the ham and started my mother-in-law's cranberry sauce recipe (one of two batches...for I had TWO events to go to that day...more on that later).

I listened to the radio that morning rather than holiday music...because it's Thanksgiving, not Christmas, so it was perfectly acceptable in my opinion to be listening to City and Colour, the Foo Fighters and the like as I cooked.

I turned on the Macy's parade at some point, showered, and tried to time out all the food, while my two sweethearts snored in the bedroom.  By the way...these two darlings below?  So thankful for them.  They make my life so special every day.

Around 10am, I packed all the food into a couple of boxes and bags and loaded up the car and headed to my dad's church...the church where I grew up and was baptized and which is just around the corner from my house.

This year, we did something that we have only done one other time for Thanksgiving.  See, with all the marriages, divorces, remarriages and such, we "kids" usually have to try to squeeze 2-3 Thanksgivings into ONE day, and it's stressful and chaotic and awful.  So, in 2008 we thought we'd try something new.  We invited the entire family...no, really...the entire family...to my dad's church fellowship hall to celebrate and be thankful together.

Even with the inlaws and outlaws, the new and ex-spouses, the children and the family friends...everyone gets along and respects and loves each other.  I KNOW, RIGHT?!  AMAZING. I mean, we wouldn't want to all vacation together or anything, but for one day in the fall...we can all be together and be grateful that we all have each other.

So for Thanksgiving 2011, we thought we'd try it again.  And once again, it was very special and wonderful.  There were, sadly, a few missing people this year...but they were there in our hearts.  The church was decorated, thanks to my dad and stepmother, and we had tons of food.
 

Dad carved the turkey...I'll make lots of things and try just about any recipe, but I dread the day when I might be responsible for the main course.  Let the Master handle that:

I kinda love this kid...my "little" brother.  I think we look alike! 

Those are my sisters-in-law up there ^^.  Aren't they lovely?  The one on the right is just starting to show her baby bump, and I can't wait to find out this Thursday if it's my niece or nephew in there!

SO, the family Thanskgiving was a huge success.  I was home for just a few hours, during which time I really wanted to nap, but I had to make another corn casserole and some stuffing for what is affectionately (or hatefully?) called "Hatesgiving" with some theatre friends, hosted and created by my friend (and the director of my recent show), Tashina.  This was a much more grown-up (and not in the "responsible, some of us have to work tomorrow" way) celebration, but I was seriously proud of all of us and our cooking (and drinking) skills:

With the exception of a couple of almost disasters (mac-and-cheese that wasn't thickening and an incident in which the turkey ALMOST didn't make it from the oven to the counter but since Tashina is a ninja and saved it and suffered burns in the process, all was well), the food was AMAZING.  The Hatesgiving Punch (1 part rum to 2 parts cider, plus some cinnamon sticks, heated on the stove) and the viewing of the horribly awesome film Thankskilling and the time with hilarious and awesome friends made it the perfect end to the holiday.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving as well!  I've seen several posts on my Google Reader feed this morning that indicates the affirmative, and I've loved reading everyone's stories.

Now, onto Christmas! The tree at my house is up and the Indie Holiday station on Pandora is playing in my ears right now as I type.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!

Café des Artistes

November 10-12th, 17th-20th -- All shows at 8pm

Greenspace Arts Collective Denton, Texas

More Information

Photo by Tiffany Hillan

"I look into your eyes. I see EVERYTHING. When I see EVERYTHING, I feel good. It feels so good when I see EVERYTHING"



Photo by Tiffany Hillan

"I am surrounded by distraction. Even the blood in my veins is a distraction. Who knows why, but it is"



Photo by Tiffany Hillan

"I don't know if anyone can plan to have a life like this."

Photo by Tiffany Hillan

"To be able to write while being observed-- seems to me an important test"

Friend Makin' Mondays -- On Dating

I haven't participated in a Friend Makin' Mondays blog in a LONG time...but to be fair, I haven't really been good about blogging in general, so I don't feel too guilty.  But, I'm caught up on work for the moment and thought I'd play along today.  If you want to play along on your blog, make sure you go over to Kenlie's blog and post in the comments with your link!

Just a fair warning...I've been told that women hit their sexual peak starting in their 30s so if I seem a little....whatever...well, remember which birthday I just had.

FMM: Dating

What is your current relationship status? (Be as specific as you’d like to be!) Married.  Just celebrated the 3-year annivesary of our wedding in September.  We've been together for almost 9 years total, though. 

List a few qualities that you look for in a significant other. A sense of humor, talent (and this is very broad...I just prefer a man who has a hobby that's important to him, and maybe even that he is able to make his career!), compassion for others, a penis.
If you could choose to date one character in TV or film, who would you choose? And which characteristics are most appealing? Just one?!  You're killin' me, Smalls.  Hmmmm...honestly I'd pick Jim Halpert from The Office.  I. Love. Him. He's tall, he's laid-back, he's funny, he's adorable...what's not to like?

How long should you date before becoming exclusive? That is completely up to the couple. 

What are your thoughts on public displays of affection? As long as it's just AFFECTION, I don't mind it at all.  I really like seeing couples be affectionate and considerate of each other. Holding hands, a little tiny kiss here and there, a man letting a woman go through the door in front of him, his hand on the small of her back.  Those things make me smile.  Dry humping and making out hardcore?  Keep it in your bedroom.  Or living room.  Or backseat.  Or...

Do you kiss on the first date? Oh if only you knew who you were talking to.  I love kissing so much.  Sometimes I didn't even wait til the first date, but then again, you're looking at the erstwhile Makeout Queen of North Texas.  Sometimes I wish we could make NCMOs a thing (non-committal makeouts) in this society. I love kissing my husband, but man oh man do I miss that feeling of kissing a new person. 

Biggest turn-off? Smelling bad.  I just can't get past it.  Breath, body, hair....it's not THAT hard to shower and clean yourself. 

What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? That it's a man.  Hey, judge me if you want...I have no type.  Men are awesome. 

How long do you/did you wait before becoming intimate? Again, that's something that each person and each couple has to decide individually (or as a couple, obviously...one would hope it'd be a mutual decision).  I waited until I fell in love and then I married that man.  Now I just have the occasional awesome (Ryan Reynolds) or awkward (people I work with, former bosses) sexy dream. If (GOD FORBID) anything were to ever happen with us, I can't honestly say how long I'd wait. 

Describe your dream date. I have always hated this question.  If the person with whom I'm on the date is awesome, chances are the date is gonna be awesome.  And if he's REALLY awesome?  I'm known to make the first move and kiss him.  Maybe that's emasculating to some men, but most guys I know would probably think that was pretty awesome.  Chime in, guys, am I right??

Aware

It's been one of those weeks where I'm very aware of my size.

Do you know what I'm talking about? 

Most days I don't think about it.  My clothes all fit fairly well to very well and I'm comfortable and confident in them. 

I'm doing well at my day job during the day and at my theatre "job" in the evenings (I think).  I'm paying lots of attention to my family.  Things are going well, so why am I suddenly so self-aware and subesequently self-conscious?

It didn't even really hit me until this morning.  I was scrolling through everyone's Halloween pictures on Facebook as I drank my coffee, and I came across a picture my brother had posted of my sister-in-law, who is just a few months pregnant. She looked adorable in a black t-shirt that had a small pumpkin right where her (barely visible) baby bump was growing.  Suddenly I just got sad about the most random thing...

There's kind of a tradition that's going around with some women in my life who have had/are having babies.  There's this ratty pair of overalls that they all loan to the currently pregnant one so that they can have something comfy to wear in their final months of pregnancy, and they all sign their names and the year on the inside of the leg.  It's really sweet and cute....but the thing is?  I couldn't wear those overalls NOW. I couldn't wear them if I lost another 15 pounds from where I am now.  So...yeah, you do the math there.  There's no way I'll be able to be a part of this tradition.

I've made fun of it to my husband, but the truth is, I feel really bitter and left out. 

Another reason I've been aware of my size lately....we're in the process of really hammering out the details of Café des Artistes (the show I'm working on right now, in case you've not been paying attention), including all the technical aspects: lights, inspirations with which to dress the set/scenery, etc.  Since it's a small theatre company, we're all pulling from our own closets for costumes.  I had some ideas, but maybe don't own everything I need....and I let myself get into a really stupid, dark place yesterday about the fact that there's not a friend I have right now from whom I could borrow anything, because their clothes wouldn't fit me. 

As I mentioned in my Five Things post yesterday, there are just times when I sink into this insecurity and awareness that I'm often the biggest person in the room (I typed "world" first...WHOA there subconscious, calm down).  I felt that way all during Snoopy!!! rehearsals and I've felt that way at times in this show. 

And before you say anything...I ALREADY KNOW. I know how far I've come, I know I've accomplished so much awesome stuff health-wise and mentally since 2009...but there is just sometimes this epic war in my mind between the side of me that knows I have a LOT to be proud of and the side of me that wants to just be awkward and self-conscious.  I have to actively get myself out of these funks, and sometimes that's exhausting.  Or, when I am actually exhausted, I don't have the mental capacity to fight it and before I know it I'm in a weird place and just don't wanna talk to anyone.

I'll get over it.  I promise.  This show will open and it will be AH-MAZING, and then I will ease myself back into running and I'll feel great. 

I just needed to get that out. 

Five Things

Happy Halloween, everyone! 

I really don't feel like doing a lot today, and, thanks to some technical difficulties, I'm not actually able to do some of the stuff I need to get done today, so I'mma blog instead. 

I got the inspiration for today's blog post from Jen, one of my favorite 7 Days friends, and I thought it'd be as good a blog as any today, so here we go.

Five Things You (Probably) Don't Know About Me:

1. I absolutely loathe condensation.  Seriously.  I can't stand it when drinks "sweat" and the glass gets all wet and subsequently makes big wet rings on the table.  I'm constantly wiping it up with napkins...even when I have fast food cups (that are paper, not styrofoam), I have to have at least two napkins wrapped around the cup so my hands don't get wet.  It just drives me absolutely insane.

2. I have an irrational fear of the dentist.  I get anxiety just hearing about other people's dental adventures.  My favorite musical is Little Shop of Horrors, but I can't watch the scene where Steve Martin is singing his dentist song and drilling into people's mouths because it makes me freak out. I literally just shuddered typing it out. 

3. Scary movies actually give me bad dreams.  Even the stupid slasher ones from the 80s and earlier will give me nightmares.  But if you get into the more cerebral ones (think Paranormal Activity, The Exorcist, etc.)? Forget about it.  I'll be up all night long and calling on Jesus the whole time to calm me down.  So why do I watch them??  I have no idea.

4. I am incredibly insecure.  I've worked on this a lot, and for the most part I'd say I can walk out the door each day happy with who I am in the world, but man...when the insecure self rears her ugly head it can be a really low day.  I know there are others in this world who struggle with it DAILY, so I'm not complaining...but I really really hate those days when I question every decision I've made in my life, can identify whether or not I'm the biggest girl in the room, and feel like a giant piece of total crap. 

5. I still don't know if we'll have kids...ever. I joke a lot about being glad I'm child-free, and I usually mean it because I've just slept until noon, uninterrupted, OR my husband and I have barely managed to pay for ourselves in a particular month so we wonder how on earth we could afford a child.  But the truth is, we're 30 and 33 (almost) and we're just not there yet. I have moments when I will feel my uterus skip a beat over a sweet baby, sure, but as for making the decision to procreate? Not. There.  And I hate feeling judged for that by anyone. 

Five Things I am Knowledgeable About

1. Grammar.  Not only is it part of my job description to know what is or is not grammatically correct, but it's also a part of my SOUL.  Nothing throws me into a rage quite as quickly as seeing an apostrophe + an "s" used to indicate plural or the incorrect form of your/you're or their/there/they're being used.  Also, no this is not a picture of "Mom and I," it is a picture of "Mom and ME." REMEMBER SCHOOL?? It seems a silly thing to get worked up over, but I cannot help it.  It makes my eye twitch any time I see blatant disregard for correct spelling and grammar in the technological age in which we live and the myriad spell/grammar-check options we have on our techological devices. 

2. Relationships.  This is going to make me sound incredibly arrogant, but I don't care.  I know how to handle a relationship, whether it be a marriage or a friendship or an acquaintance or a business relationship.  I don't mean to say I know how to handle yours, but if I'm a part of that relationship?  You can bet that I'm going to make sure that it's healthy and that it's not torn apart by stupid things.  Yes, there are times when a relationship needs to be let go because it's not healthy to either member, but the ones that matter are salvageable.  I've learned so much from my husband in the past 9 years and from the friendships that have lasted in my life.  Because of this, my relationships are, for the most part, solid and incredibly gratifying.

3. Baseball.  I once had a (male) boss tell me, "Mandy, you know more about baseball than any other female I know."  Best compliment ever.  Now, that's not to say that I'm a wealth of knowledge on baseball trivia...I'll leave that to my husband.  But I know about the game, and I am usually very aware of current events about baseball, even if they're only related to my team.  I love the game.  LOVE IT.

4. Social Media. This does not mean I fancy myself one of those "social media experts," whose main expertise and knowledge are geared towards expanding your brand's social/online presence.  I just mean I know about them all, and I use most of them (if I don't, it's by choice, i.e., Pinterest).  I am also pretty good about figuring out how to modify them, use them to my advantage, and use them from multiple devices. So...yay me?

(Is it sad that I am having trouble coming up with 5 things? Or is it just adorably modest?)

5. Music.  Again, I hate saying that because I am by no means even half as smart as my husband (the one with two degrees in it) when it comes to music...but I do know a lot about a lot of different styles of music.  I also know the human voice quite well and can tell when people are using it incorrectly.  People get really TESTY with me when I don't like a particular singer or performance because I can tell that they're actually quite a terrible singer.  I'm sorry, I just know that they won't have a voice in 5 years.  *shrug*  It's why when people tell me I have to watch this clip from The X Factor or American Idol, I just grit my teeth and force a smile and try to keep my mouth shut.  I'm kind of hard to impress, but it's because I've heard SO MUCH GOOD music in my life and I've had the training to know when an accomplishment is actually being made.  Wow, it's nice here in my ivory tower....

Five Things I Know Nothing About

1. Politics. And you know what? I don't care enough.  Yes, important issues matter to me.  Yes, I make educated decisions come voting time.  But if there is a pre-pre-primary debate on but Enchanted is also on ABC Family at the same time?  I'm watching Amy Adams and Dr. McDreamy, thankyouverymuch.  I just can't be bothered to get ALL UP IN ARMS over what the talking heads are saying on whatever news channel.  I assume that the good thing about this particular "flaw" of mine is that, at the very least, I don't pretend to know what I'm talking about and/or engage in arguments with people about things.

2. Hockey.  I like to consider myself a pretty well-rounded sports fan, but hockey is just that one sport (of the predominantly featured ones, that is...there are LOTS of sports I know nothing about...lacrosse, anyone?) that I can't get into.  I have nothing against it, of course (had to say that so that my Canadian friends don't disown me); I just don't really get into it.  I know that the little black disc gets banged around on ice and that the goal is to get it into the other team's net.  That's all I need to know, right?

3. Math and Science.  I was in band and theatre and AP English classes.  Enough said.  I did what I needed to do for state regulations and then I promptly forgot it all, beyond simple basics.

4. Decorating.  My mom, my aunt, my cousin and my sister-in-law all have houses that look like they came straight out of the pages of a magazine.  I...just am not good at that kind of thing.  I wouldn't be able to see an old door and think "wow that would look great in my living room," but they will take it and make it look like it came out of an Anthropologie display.  Thank God they like helping me, or my house would be tragic.

5. The average air-speed velocity of an unladen African swallow.  But European swallows?  Got it. 

Five Things I Believe

1. (I'm straight up copy/pasting this one from Jen, because she put it so beautifully). I believe the Bible is totally and completely true. God is and always was. He created the heavens and the earth and every living thing. He came to earth as a human being — He was born to a virgin, He was killed, and He rose again in three days, just as He said He would. He’s coming back one day, a day known only to Him.


2. I believe in ghosts and demons.  I'm not sure so much about ghosts of departed humans, but I'm not saying it's impossible.  But I sure as hell (see what I did there?) believe in demons.  See the thing in the first section about bad dreams from scary movies?  I still get creeped out by those shadowy things in Ghost.  Yep.

3. I believe in education.  One thing that has actually gotten me to raise my head from my book/magazine and pay a bit more attention to politics lately is the issue of education.  I'm a firm believer that we should not just be preparing children for standardized tests.  I believe that college and extended education is incredibly important.  I believe we should never ever stop taking opportunities to learn.

4. I believe in a thing called love.  The Beatles said it the best, because, at the end of the day, "Love is all you need."  If we could all just remember to love one another (see #1 at the top of this section for reference), things would just be a little more awesome. 

5. I believe in myself and my potential.  Yes, it sounds cheesy.  But if I don't believe in myself, how can I expect anyone else to believe in me? 

Well that was fun and took up a substantial amount of time!  Feel free to play along!

Tuesday Tunes -- ALL THE MUSIC

I've been on a serious music kick lately...so serious that I sort of feel like I did back in high school, when I had music playing constantly -- in my car, in my bedroom while I got ready, on my Discman (SHUT. UP.), you name it.

I'll give some of that credit where credit is due, to my recent musical muses in no particular order: Mike, Tashina and Rachel.  All three of those musically inclined friends have opened my ears up to some brand new artists and styles (Tashina mostly through our Café des Artistes rehearsals, because she uses some badass tunes for our movement exercises at rehearsal), and, thanks to the wonderful Internet, have been more than generous in the sharing of said music. 

Speaking of technology, that's where more of the credit is due.  I've been listening to Live 105, a radio station in Halifax, NS (that's in Canada, you guys) almost every day thanks to Mike turning me onto it one day...and I didn't realize how much I really missed listening to a good radio station.  I mean, nobody likes commercials, but at least these commercials amuse me (minus the friggin' Casino Taxi jingle, which I now have memorized) because of the accents...and you get commercials on Pandora and Spotify anyway, unless you pay for it.  But the contests, the different DJ personalities, and the different mix of music (old stuff I listened to in high school, current stuff, and Canadian music I never would've heard otherwise) is just so much fun for me. 

ALSO, if the radio doesn't tell me the song quickly enough, I can just load up SoundHound (great app on my iPhone), point it towards the music, and find out what song it is and get an option to buy it.  ALSO ALSO, thank GOD for Spotify.  I heard an Acres of Lions song on Live 105 the other night and really wanted to hear more of the album, so I was able to check out the entire album for free (with commercials) before buying it on iTunes.  Awesome.

But it was when I was listening to AoL that I started thinking, "Do you ever find yourself getting overwhelmed by ALL THE MUSIC?"  I mean good lord, there's some good music in this world.  I know that seems like a stupid thing to say, but there's no way I'll ever be satisfied with music.  I'm always going to want to get more and more, and one band leads to another which leads me to going to see them and then falling in love with the opening act, etc.  It just keeps going.

How awesome is that?

So, yeah...I mean...good stuff out there.  Here's a small sampling of what I'm digging right now:

1. "Reaction" - Acres of Lions
2. "Weapon" - Matthew Good Band
3. "Fragile Bird" - City and Colour
4. "What the Water Gave Me" - Florence + the Machine
5. "Black Betty" - The Standstills
6. "How it Ends" - DeVotchKa
7. "Joga" - Bjork
8. "Uprising" - Muse
9. "Oh Mississippi" - Lissie
10. "Speak/Listen" - David Usher

Ten is a good place to stop.  I'd look all those up on YouTube and link them for you, but that'd take a lot of time, and let's face it...you're a grownup with a computer and enough dexterity and knowledge to do that yourself.  If you don't, well, then you're just missing out. 

So...yeah.  Rock on?  Or something.