August 17, 2012

In which my 17-year-old self gains some ground

Those of you who have stuck with me for a while might remember this story I posted last year. That particular teenage memory remains one of my very favorite, most romantic memories of my angst-ridden teen years.  I've had lots (and LOTS) of kisses since that night, but that one was so special and remains firmly planted in my brain.

That boy happened to be my very first broken heart as well, but that's not the part I dwell on.  I see him around town, still.  It's a small town.  Both of us left for a while and came back, too, so sometimes I find it remarkable that he's still here and that we cross paths even as frequently as we do (possibly a few times a year).

Every time I see him, I can't help but wonder if he thinks of that same moment we shared, or if he immediately chooses to focus upon my reaction to his sudden disinterest that completely blindsided me and, I'm sorry to say, turned me into a bit of an emotional, clingy type for a while.  It'd be fair if that's what he recalled.  But I'd like to think that, since we've both hopefully matured a bit, he remembers as fondly as I do that darkened living room and the music of Louis Armstrong as we kissed and the world stood still for a moment.

Wow, it's been 13 years since that night.

I had an encounter with this person last weekend.  My BFF-From-Way-Back came into town to celebrate her 30th birthday with me, since I wasn't able to make the drive to Memphis for her actual birthdate the weekend before.  We hit up a lot of our favorite spots together, including the square of our cute little hipster town.  We had dinner at a new-ish place, and he was our server.  It was a very pleasant experience, as it usually is.

When he brought me the check, I thanked him by name and he told us to have a great night.  As I was signing the credit card receipt, I felt Shelly's eyes boring into my head.  "What??" I asked her.  "That was HIM?" She was incredulous.  She probably hasn't seen him since all of the Teenage Drama went down 13 years ago, and I will say that he definitely fits into the "dirty hippie" type that Denton seems to have embraced in recent years.  He looks very different from that 18-year-old boy we knew, of course, but I guess that, since I've seen him sporadically over the years, he just him, to me.  Older.  Scruffier.  Rounder.  But still him.

Shelly craned her neck around me to give him another long look.  Then she looked at me and said, "Well.  Clearly you win this one." I waved her off and made some comment about it not being a competition, that people get older, that I'm just glad we're friendly.

But I'll be damned if I didn't walk out of that restaurant with my head held a bit higher and a bit more of a bounce in my step. It's not a competition, of course.

But the absolutely heartbroken 17-year-old girl inside of me, who couldn't understand why the strong, dark-skinned and light-eyed boy who made her weak in the knees no longer wanted her smiled and practically danced with glee out the front door.

August 6, 2012

Friend-Makin' Monday -- Personal Stuff

 I almost skipped today's FMM post, because of all the hoopla that's been going on around social media lately (a couple of the questions touch on politics and religion), but I feel like blogging and I like Kenlie's prompts.  So here goes.

Oh, and by the way, should you feel like playing along as well, head over to Kenlie's post and leave your link in the comments and spread some comment love yourself!

A Little More Personal 

1. Are you a morning person? Absolutely not.  From the time I was a small baby I've been a night person. I swear I "activate" around 11pm.  It's very hard for me to shut down and fall asleep, and I could easily sleep til 10am (or later) every single day.  

2. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?Are you kidding me? 

 3. Are you addicted to anything? If so, what? You know, I never thought of myself as having an addiction to anything.  I mean, even as much as I wax poetic about my coffee, I could quit if I had to (I'd need a real good reason, though). But I do have some mental and spiritual addictions, I think -- things that cause me to be selfish and vain and stumble in reaching the goals I have for myself in becoming the person/wife/mom/friend I want to be. 

4. How many times have you been in love? Twice.  My first love was absolutely nothing like the love I have for my husband, but I really think that, for what little I knew of love at 18, I was in love with my first serious boyfriend.  It didn't end well, and every so often I wonder about him and hope he's doing well.  

5. What is your position on politics? I have strong opinions on a few key issues (namely the role of government in telling me what I can and can't do in my personal life and with my body) but really?  Overall I don't know much.  I would much prefer to watch episode after episode of Battlestar Galactica or The Office on Netflix than watch CNN or the local news, even.  However, I compensate for this by a) watching the debates around election time, and b) shutting up in major arguments. If I don't have all the information, it's useless for me to argue. 

6. Are you religious? I hate this question. One of the definitions of "religious" is "scrupulously faithful; conscientious," and that's how I usually define the word.  It also has an extremely negative connotation, more and more negative every year it seems. The bottom line? I love God. I believe Jesus is the son of God and the way to salvation, through His grace. I will try my whole life to live a life that is pleasing to Him.

 7. Would you prefer backpacking or a luxury hotel? Totally a luxury hotel. I am an indoor girl. I'd be whining and complaining after an hour of backpacking.

8. Do you have/want pets? Um, only the best dog ever.

 9. Are you a sports fan? ABSOLUTELY. I love the Boston Red Sox, the Texas Rangers and the Philadelphia Eagles.  And I LOVE the Olympics. 

10. How often do you brush your teeth? Twice a day.

11. Do you have tattoos and/or piercings? My ears are pierced and I have one tattoo. 

12. What’s your favorite clothing brand? I don't really notice that I buy a particular brand over another. But I have noticed that I have expensive taste...the things I pull off the rack to examine are always the designer/expensive brands.

13. Should a man open doors for a woman? I think anyone should open doors for people coming in/out behind them.  It's the polite thing to do. 

14. Which season is your favorite? Usually whichever one is next.  

15. Would you rather eat less or workout more? Eating less seems to help me lose weight more quickly, but I would rather work out more just to build good habits and be in the best shape I can be.

16. What’s your idea of romance?  You know, I could create a big ol' scenario here, but honestly it all boils down to "thoughtful."  Being thoughtful about a date, a gift, a "just because" visit...those are the things that are the most romantic to me. Taking the time to think about what might make me smile or feel loved.

17. How often do you do things that are outside of your comfort zone? Are you kidding? I'm in theatre.  I've had to do some insane movement exercises where I've had to get outside my comfort zone REAL fast.

18. Christmas or Halloween? Christmas!  I do like Halloween, though. 

19. Would you rather live in the country or the city? City.

20. Share your life philosophy. Matthew 22:37-40

August 3, 2012

Finding My Grace Friday

All day today I've been wanting to post a blog about something...but most of the things on my mind are either incredibly inflammatory (to SOMEONE I'm sure) and/or unformed, random, frustrated thoughts due to the recent Popular Topics on Facebook and Twitter.  Then I saw Sara's post in my Google Reader and thought it'd be a good idea to follow suit. 

Because sometimes a girl needs a prompt. 

So here goes.

1. What is something small that you are thankful for this week?
Technology.  BUT MANDY!  YOU JUST SAID!!  I know...I know.  But having Twitter and my iPhone have allowed me to quickly reach people I am not geographically near for a quick thought or a request for support/prayer or even just a laugh.  Technology isn't really small I guess...but my iPhone is. 

2. What is something you know you are so lucky to have that others don’t?
My husband.  Oh sure, he's someone else's son/friend/teacher/brother. But he's only MY husband. 

3. What is something you know you need to work on?
SHUTTING UP.  I have such a knee-jerk reaction to post/comment on things online before thinking them through, and that's something I'm working on.  Also, even the stuff I want to just make my own status...I need to stop and think "Mandy, you don't have to post everything that happens to you on Facebook/Twitter."  I'm trying to work on living more in the moment and off the grid.

4. How did you do on being more grateful for your #3 item from last week?
Well since this is my first week playing along...I don't have an answer for this one.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.  I intend to spend it seeing some excellent theatre, cleaning my house, spending quality time with family, and watching no fewer than 3 episodes of Battlestar Galactica.  Happy Friday!