November 30, 2011

To-Do List

Because I wanted an easy blog to post today, and because I do what I'm told....

I got this from Jared, who got it from Tyler.  What's on YOUR to-do list?

November 29, 2011

Be Kind

Hey, remember back in July (when I was a blog-posting FOOL, yo) when I wrote this guest post over on Laura's blog?

Since that post, the Denton Women's Collective has been VERY busy with lots of activities, including but not limited to being featured on the Operation Beautiful web site:

...having a clothing swap (with all not-taken clothes being donated to a women's shelter), educating ourselves (well...themselves, since I've not been to a meeting in 2 months because of the show) by watching other documentaries, and sponsoring a sweet, beautiful little girl in India.

Wow.  I just got goosebumps thinking about all of that, so let me just take a little side path here to say something...

I've found in recent months that I am at my best when I focus on one thing (outside of my family and my job, of course) at a time.  When I was involved with Café des Artistes, it pretty much consumed me.  With the very nature of what that show was about, I think that's okay...and even necessary.  But if you're used to a lifetime of never being able to say "no" and loading your proverbial plate so full that you can't carry it anymore, it's hard not to feel guilty about not being able to handle many different activities/commitments.

The last few days, I've felt so much contentment and relaxation.  The show ended (very successfully), I had a wonderful holiday and 4-day weekend with my friends, family and, most importantly, my hubby and puppy, and I feel like I'm ready to pick back up on a few things, such as working out (no REALLY) and the DWC activities.  Luckily, this group is run by some INCREDIBLE, dedicated females who have kept all the juggling balls in the air and have been patient and loving with my inability to handle the stress of participating.  To them, I say a heartfelt "thank you."

So, what better way to get back into the swing of things than with a public screening of the documentary Finding Kind! I can't WAIT to participate with these girls during the screening(s) and I am praying that the girls, their mothers, and the administrators will view this with open hearts and minds and make active changes in their schools and communities to stop girl-on-girl crime. 

Here are the details:

Wednesday, November 30th at 6:30pm
Thursday, December 1st at 4:30pm

Flower Mound High School
3411 Peters Colony Road
Flower Mound, TX 75022

I can't wait to see what comes from this, and I'm so thankful and grateful to know such amazing young women who care so much about these issues...enough to organize and collaborate with FMHS and the PTA to make this happen.

We may not all be smart...we may not all be beautiful...we may not all be talented...but we CAN all be kind.

November 28, 2011


I really love Thanksgiving. I daresay it's my favorite holiday. I mean, I do LOVE Christmas, but because Thanksgiving is kind of the redheaded stepchild of holidays (in that it gets so quickly and carelessly passed over in favor of Christmas), I feel a connection to it. Also, I cook a lot more for Thanksgiving and am much more involved in planning and organizing than I am at Christmastime (when I'm usually just a pawn in the family plans and just wait to be told where to go and when).

Every year I cook the same couple of things: homemade cranberry sauce (none of that gelatinous canned crap for me, thankyouverymuch), corn casserole, and a ham. Yes, a ham.  We have turkey AND ham at Thanksgiving dinner because...well, that's just how we roll. 

Get it?? ROLL?!  Ahahahahahaha.


Anywho, this year was no different. I woke up at 6am on Thanksgiving morning, made a pot of coffee, and preheated the oven for the ham and started my mother-in-law's cranberry sauce recipe (one of two batches...for I had TWO events to go to that day...more on that later).

I listened to the radio that morning rather than holiday music...because it's Thanksgiving, not Christmas, so it was perfectly acceptable in my opinion to be listening to City and Colour, the Foo Fighters and the like as I cooked.

I turned on the Macy's parade at some point, showered, and tried to time out all the food, while my two sweethearts snored in the bedroom.  By the way...these two darlings below?  So thankful for them.  They make my life so special every day.

Around 10am, I packed all the food into a couple of boxes and bags and loaded up the car and headed to my dad's church...the church where I grew up and was baptized and which is just around the corner from my house.

This year, we did something that we have only done one other time for Thanksgiving.  See, with all the marriages, divorces, remarriages and such, we "kids" usually have to try to squeeze 2-3 Thanksgivings into ONE day, and it's stressful and chaotic and awful.  So, in 2008 we thought we'd try something new.  We invited the entire, really...the entire my dad's church fellowship hall to celebrate and be thankful together.

Even with the inlaws and outlaws, the new and ex-spouses, the children and the family friends...everyone gets along and respects and loves each other.  I KNOW, RIGHT?!  AMAZING. I mean, we wouldn't want to all vacation together or anything, but for one day in the fall...we can all be together and be grateful that we all have each other.

So for Thanksgiving 2011, we thought we'd try it again.  And once again, it was very special and wonderful.  There were, sadly, a few missing people this year...but they were there in our hearts.  The church was decorated, thanks to my dad and stepmother, and we had tons of food.

Dad carved the turkey...I'll make lots of things and try just about any recipe, but I dread the day when I might be responsible for the main course.  Let the Master handle that:

I kinda love this "little" brother.  I think we look alike! 

Those are my sisters-in-law up there ^^.  Aren't they lovely?  The one on the right is just starting to show her baby bump, and I can't wait to find out this Thursday if it's my niece or nephew in there!

SO, the family Thanskgiving was a huge success.  I was home for just a few hours, during which time I really wanted to nap, but I had to make another corn casserole and some stuffing for what is affectionately (or hatefully?) called "Hatesgiving" with some theatre friends, hosted and created by my friend (and the director of my recent show), Tashina.  This was a much more grown-up (and not in the "responsible, some of us have to work tomorrow" way) celebration, but I was seriously proud of all of us and our cooking (and drinking) skills:

With the exception of a couple of almost disasters (mac-and-cheese that wasn't thickening and an incident in which the turkey ALMOST didn't make it from the oven to the counter but since Tashina is a ninja and saved it and suffered burns in the process, all was well), the food was AMAZING.  The Hatesgiving Punch (1 part rum to 2 parts cider, plus some cinnamon sticks, heated on the stove) and the viewing of the horribly awesome film Thankskilling and the time with hilarious and awesome friends made it the perfect end to the holiday.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving as well!  I've seen several posts on my Google Reader feed this morning that indicates the affirmative, and I've loved reading everyone's stories.

Now, onto Christmas! The tree at my house is up and the Indie Holiday station on Pandora is playing in my ears right now as I type.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!

November 11, 2011

Café des Artistes
November 10-12th, 17th-20th -- All shows at 8pm
Greenspace Arts Collective Denton, Texas

Photo by Tiffany Hillan
"I look into your eyes. I see EVERYTHING. When I see EVERYTHING, I feel good. It feels so good when I see EVERYTHING"

Photo by Tiffany Hillan
"I am surrounded by distraction. Even the blood in my veins is a distraction. Who knows why, but it is"

Photo by Tiffany Hillan
"I don't know if anyone can plan to have a life like this."

Photo by Tiffany Hillan
"To be able to write while being observed-- seems to me an important test"

November 7, 2011

Friend Makin' Mondays -- On Dating

I haven't participated in a Friend Makin' Mondays blog in a LONG time...but to be fair, I haven't really been good about blogging in general, so I don't feel too guilty.  But, I'm caught up on work for the moment and thought I'd play along today.  If you want to play along on your blog, make sure you go over to Kenlie's blog and post in the comments with your link!

Just a fair warning...I've been told that women hit their sexual peak starting in their 30s so if I seem a little....whatever...well, remember which birthday I just had.

FMM: Dating

What is your current relationship status? (Be as specific as you’d like to be!) Married.  Just celebrated the 3-year annivesary of our wedding in September.  We've been together for almost 9 years total, though. 

List a few qualities that you look for in a significant other. A sense of humor, talent (and this is very broad...I just prefer a man who has a hobby that's important to him, and maybe even that he is able to make his career!), compassion for others, a penis.
If you could choose to date one character in TV or film, who would you choose? And which characteristics are most appealing? Just one?!  You're killin' me, Smalls.  Hmmmm...honestly I'd pick Jim Halpert from The Office.  I. Love. Him. He's tall, he's laid-back, he's funny, he's adorable...what's not to like?

How long should you date before becoming exclusive? That is completely up to the couple. 

What are your thoughts on public displays of affection? As long as it's just AFFECTION, I don't mind it at all.  I really like seeing couples be affectionate and considerate of each other. Holding hands, a little tiny kiss here and there, a man letting a woman go through the door in front of him, his hand on the small of her back.  Those things make me smile.  Dry humping and making out hardcore?  Keep it in your bedroom.  Or living room.  Or backseat.  Or...

Do you kiss on the first date? Oh if only you knew who you were talking to.  I love kissing so much.  Sometimes I didn't even wait til the first date, but then again, you're looking at the erstwhile Makeout Queen of North Texas.  Sometimes I wish we could make NCMOs a thing (non-committal makeouts) in this society. I love kissing my husband, but man oh man do I miss that feeling of kissing a new person. 

Biggest turn-off? Smelling bad.  I just can't get past it.  Breath, body,'s not THAT hard to shower and clean yourself. 

What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? That it's a man.  Hey, judge me if you want...I have no type.  Men are awesome. 

How long do you/did you wait before becoming intimate? Again, that's something that each person and each couple has to decide individually (or as a couple, would hope it'd be a mutual decision).  I waited until I fell in love and then I married that man.  Now I just have the occasional awesome (Ryan Reynolds) or awkward (people I work with, former bosses) sexy dream. If (GOD FORBID) anything were to ever happen with us, I can't honestly say how long I'd wait. 

Describe your dream date. I have always hated this question.  If the person with whom I'm on the date is awesome, chances are the date is gonna be awesome.  And if he's REALLY awesome?  I'm known to make the first move and kiss him.  Maybe that's emasculating to some men, but most guys I know would probably think that was pretty awesome.  Chime in, guys, am I right??

November 1, 2011


It's been one of those weeks where I'm very aware of my size.

Do you know what I'm talking about? 

Most days I don't think about it.  My clothes all fit fairly well to very well and I'm comfortable and confident in them. 

I'm doing well at my day job during the day and at my theatre "job" in the evenings (I think).  I'm paying lots of attention to my family.  Things are going well, so why am I suddenly so self-aware and subesequently self-conscious?

It didn't even really hit me until this morning.  I was scrolling through everyone's Halloween pictures on Facebook as I drank my coffee, and I came across a picture my brother had posted of my sister-in-law, who is just a few months pregnant. She looked adorable in a black t-shirt that had a small pumpkin right where her (barely visible) baby bump was growing.  Suddenly I just got sad about the most random thing...

There's kind of a tradition that's going around with some women in my life who have had/are having babies.  There's this ratty pair of overalls that they all loan to the currently pregnant one so that they can have something comfy to wear in their final months of pregnancy, and they all sign their names and the year on the inside of the leg.  It's really sweet and cute....but the thing is?  I couldn't wear those overalls NOW. I couldn't wear them if I lost another 15 pounds from where I am now.  So...yeah, you do the math there.  There's no way I'll be able to be a part of this tradition.

I've made fun of it to my husband, but the truth is, I feel really bitter and left out. 

Another reason I've been aware of my size lately....we're in the process of really hammering out the details of Café des Artistes (the show I'm working on right now, in case you've not been paying attention), including all the technical aspects: lights, inspirations with which to dress the set/scenery, etc.  Since it's a small theatre company, we're all pulling from our own closets for costumes.  I had some ideas, but maybe don't own everything I need....and I let myself get into a really stupid, dark place yesterday about the fact that there's not a friend I have right now from whom I could borrow anything, because their clothes wouldn't fit me. 

As I mentioned in my Five Things post yesterday, there are just times when I sink into this insecurity and awareness that I'm often the biggest person in the room (I typed "world" first...WHOA there subconscious, calm down).  I felt that way all during Snoopy!!! rehearsals and I've felt that way at times in this show. 

And before you say anything...I ALREADY KNOW. I know how far I've come, I know I've accomplished so much awesome stuff health-wise and mentally since 2009...but there is just sometimes this epic war in my mind between the side of me that knows I have a LOT to be proud of and the side of me that wants to just be awkward and self-conscious.  I have to actively get myself out of these funks, and sometimes that's exhausting.  Or, when I am actually exhausted, I don't have the mental capacity to fight it and before I know it I'm in a weird place and just don't wanna talk to anyone.

I'll get over it.  I promise.  This show will open and it will be AH-MAZING, and then I will ease myself back into running and I'll feel great. 

I just needed to get that out.