Half-Baked

20-week selfie

I've been wanting to post an update for SO long here on the blog, and the halfway point seemed to be a good place to come back...except that the halfway point was still a week before our ultrasound/anatomy scan and, being as superstitious and anxious as I tend to be, I decided to wait just one more week to make sure everything was a-OK before posting.

This morning was our appointment with our anatomy scan ultrasound.  I wasn't nervous about it at all until some time yesterday afternoon when I started wondering just how many things might be wrong, developmentally, with our little Junebug.  Yes...I still call it a BabyMonster most of the time, but come on, I had to have at least ONE cutesy obnoxious name for it.  I promise that's as bad as it will get, though.

Last night I prayed not only for my own peace of mind, but that the baby would be fine when we got to take our first look at it in three months.  I knew deep in my heart that, no matter what the tech saw or the doctor relayed to us, I would find peace.  I know so surely and truly that God holds us -- and this baby -- in His hands and that He is in control.

I am not in control.

My doctor has told me, my logic has told me...but it's something I need to be reminded of from time to time.  And when I do release all of this into God's hands, the peace is...peaceful.

Sonograms are incredible, wonderful gifts of technology, but they aren't always perfect and they aren't always indicative of what you're going to actually see when you deliver. I know this, and knowing this gave me lots of peace this morning...which allowed me to enjoy THIS even more:

21-week u/s picture -- check out that rootbeer belly

I mean...that's a baby.  That's a BABY that is growing and hanging out inside my body.  We made that.  Look at that profile! That's a FACE! And a TUMMY! And...I think...an arm? 

I haven't cried looking at the picture.  But the wonder I feel is...wonderful?  I'm not so good with the words today.  It's just incredible to me that there's life inside me.  No, I'm not saying that I feel like a Blessed Vessel.  I do a lot more than I did months ago in my very first post, sure, but it's just more surreal than anything else. That's inside of me. And, at some point, it's going to come out. And grow and learn and speak and discover and....okay NOW I may have something in my eye...

So on to some stats:

We are still TEAM GREEN! The sonogram technician didn't even LOOK in the pertinent area to check, so nobody knows what the sex of this baby is except for God. The only person it's driving crazy seems to be my mother-in-law, but I have a feeling she'll be pretty darn excited no matter what. :)

Some movement is happening! Finally! Over the last week or so, if all the stars are aligned (i.e., I'm laying flat, quietly, relaxing, and really concentrating on the baby) I have felt some little thumps and kicks.  For a long time I was starting to get concerned that I hadn't felt him/her move yet, but I knew that as a first-time mom it might be as late as 25 weeks before I did. Found out today (WARNING -- MEDICAL TERMS COMING UP THAT MAY BE TMI FOR YOU) that I have an "anterior placenta," which means it's in the front instead of the back.  So there's padding between the baby and my stomach.  So, he/she will have to get a little heavier before I really feel a lot of hard kicks. I'm ok with that.  Just glad to know what's up.

I'm feeling great.  Really.  The horrible gag reflex finally went away.  I've had more of an appetite (which is speeding up the weight gain some, so I need to be a little more diligent about healthy food choices and get off my [increasingly fat] butt for some exercise soon), but also more heartburn.  So no more excuses re: cravings.  RELATED: my next appointment includes the 1-hour glucose test, so the Slurpees may have to take a backseat (*sob*) for a while.

We've decided (at least 90% sure) on names.  But we aren't telling, so....sorry. :)

We're finally starting to make plans to progress on the baby's room. I guess the little babe needs a place to sleep (NOT in our bed) (and probably NOT in Carmen's bed...), so we need to get the nursery ready.  As with the registry (which is also started, but not finished), the most overwhelming part is getting started.  Once that happens this weekend, I'll feel better.

I'm starting to make a mental list which I'll eventually write down of all the to-do's we still need to do.  I'm not even sure what all needs to be done, but just making a list makes me feel better.

.........I think that's it?  I mean there's not much else to tell right now!

Second trimester is pretty fun, actually.