July 3, 2014


You guys, I have a one-year-old.

I don't have a newborn anymore.  I don't have a toddler yet, either, but he seems too grown-up and smart to call an infant anymore, either, so I'll just stick with what I'll probably call him for the rest of his life:  my baby.  My little boy.

On Monday, this little guy turned ONE YEAR OLD.

We had an awesome Rainbow Connection/Muppet-themed birthday party for him, and all our local family came and we had a great time.

Z LOVED his birthday smash cake, but he was MAD when we took it away (he seriously would have eaten the whole thing if we'd let him!)

I won't even pretend like I didn't cry a LOT this weekend.  Especially on Sunday night, the night before his first birthday, as I was giving him his nighttime bottle and holding him in my arms.  I couldn't help but marvel in how much bigger and sturdier he felt in my arms than he did a year ago.  How his features -- still rounded with that sweet baby fat -- are more distinct and how he's grown longer and leaner even in the past several months...

For some reason, it almost felt like the end of something...like I'd wake up the next morning and he'd be going to high school.  Just the panic of a mother who feels like the last year went by in the blink of an eye, even though there were days (and nights...ohhhh the nights sometimes) that felt as though they'd never end.

I remember panicking on his first night at home because he wouldn't stop crying.  He'd just eaten, but it didn't even occur to me that he might still be hungry.  I remember the day Michael and I just passed him back and forth while he screamed for six hours because I'd been snacking on raw broccoli, and that upset his stomach with each bottle of breastmilk he got.

I remember the pain and struggle of breastfeeding and the months of  recovery (physical and emotional) and it seems like a lifetime ago as I watch him laugh and make a HUGE mess out of everything he eats. 

I watch him take so much joy in watching ME smile and laugh when he hits a new milestone (rolling over, sitting up, pulling up, clapping, waving), as if he's saying "Watch me, Mommy! Oh isn't it cool that I can do this??" 

I still love wearing him.  He's much more comfortable on my back these days because he likes to look around, but sometimes those front snuggles are much needed for both of us.  Babywearing has been an amazing part of this first year, and I cannot thank my "Fairy WrapMothers" enough for letting me try out so many different, beautiful wraps!

Right now, he can:
  • Say "da da" and "ma ma" (he says the former MUCH more often than the latter, but it's happened a few times)
  • Wave "hi" and "bye"
  • Clap his hands when we say "Yay!" or "Good job!"
  • Crawl so fast
  • Pull up on everything.  Will stand for VERY brief moments, but I don't think he realizes he's doing it.
  • Shake his head "no"
  • "Dance" to music
  • Give kisses 

  •  Eating. He hasn't turned down a single thing we've offered him to eat! Lord help me when he's a teenager...
  • The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
  • Going on adventures (walks) with Daddy and Carmen
  • Playing with his stacking toy
  • Baths
  • Playing with/terrorizing the dog

Every single day is a joy with him.  I won't lie -- I was not a fan of the newborn stage.  It was so hard.  But man...the more he grows and the more mobile he gets and the more personality he shows us, the more FUN we have every day.  Some days I could swear I have a different baby in the evening than I had just that morning!

Year #2 is bound to be even more exciting and joyful, and I cannot wait to continue to watch this sweet baby grow and learn...even if that means Mama sheds a few tears along the way.

Happy One Year to our darling, darling boy!


  1. Mandy, I wept too! I am a weeper! I'm afraid it runs in my moms side of the family and apparently, you have now joined the ranks! It's a good thing! :).

    I haven't much to say, as I mostly, well, wept! The party was lovely. The DVD had many dabbing their eyes. Such a great capture of the first year of his life-and please-that song was killing us! <3 And having just read your blog post, you have NO idea what you have just written! I wept again and again. It was so precious to hear all your thoughts, feelings, joys, ups and downs as well as the unknown things to come. You spoke correctly when you said," he is my baby". He will ALWAYS be your baby even if he gets as old as your dad and as big a man as your brother, Jason! The last thing I want to say is that I thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for laying open your heart and sharing those feelings with such clarity and all the perfection in the way you are just...well-YOU! I so love you! You captured all the things I ever felt as very young mom with basically no other women or baby-wearing mamas to help me out and encourage me along my journey as a young mom. I'm not sure who did back then? But you just made me feel so very special and normal as a young mother who felt all those exact things too when MY baby was growing like Zach! Thank you for sharing, it was such a blessing this morning to me! <3 You are a wonderful mother!
    Love, Aunt Kelly

  2. What a sweet, sweet post. He is just perfect and it looks like the celebration you threw for him was just perfect, too. They say when you have a child, the days are long, but the years are short. I remember how long those first days felt, but was shocked yesterday to know my child has been mine for 6 months. You have done an outstanding job and I just love reading entries where you talk about being a mom.