It's Monday, which means it's time to play again!
Here's today's topic that Kenlie chose:
FMM: The Driving Force
What is the driving force behind your weight-loss?
Hmmm. I could be very simple with this or I could get a little deep on you all....I'll try to find a balance, how's that?
If you click on the Healthy Living tab at the top of this blog, you'll get a quick rundown and some of my favorite links from when I started my weight loss journey up until fairly recently (a couple months ago...I should really update that page).
When I started my weight loss journey, the driving force was that I hated the girl I saw in pictures. It's a strong sentiment to say that I "hated" her, but....I kinda did. That's not the person I saw when I looked in the mirror. I guess my self-image wasn't too terrible, huh? But the cold hard facts were there: the number on the scale, the size on the tags of my clothes, and, if I'm honest, the way I felt every time I went shopping, got dressed, was around thinner girls, etc. The part of me I buried down deep within me and convinced myself didn't exist because I was happy! I was accepted! I was talented!
So I changed my lifestyle habits. And I made a LOT of progress in one year.
Then, once the weight started coming off and the attention started pouring in, I felt amazing. I thrived on the attention and the compliments. And if I'm honest...again...I focused too much on that part. I started to lose myself a little bit and become a little bit more vain and self-focused than I should have been. My relationship suffered some and my priorities were in the wrong place.
I had a bit of a wake up call after the 3-Day walk, when my feet and legs were way too banged up and painful to really work out like I had been. I gained some weight back...along with some perspective. There were other factors that helped with that...some relationship revelations...some spiritual growth and personal growth...etc. (This is the part where I'll save you from a SERIOUS trip into Mandy's brain. You're welcome.)
So while of course there is still a driving force to want to fit into that One Special Size of jeans and to play that One Dream Role and to feel good about myself and be pretty and get compliments (don't tell me you don't love getting attention! the day I stop loving attention is the day hell freezes over!)....I'd say my driving force NOW?
I want to be healthy and live a long and fulfilling life.
I don't want the old laziness and complacency to return and be the cause of health problems.
I don't want the manic desire to be thin and pretty to return and cause problems in my mental and physical well-being so that I lose focus of the person I really am inside.
I want to maintain a healthy attitude towards my size and appearance and take pride in how I look, but I don't want it to define me.
I'd rather be remembered for being joyful, happy, healthy and loving than for being hot.
I may always have thick legs...but they will carry me across finish lines and help me in lifting and chasing after my (someday) children. I may always have a round behind, but it will never cease to be smacked when I walk by my husband. ;)
Last thought: I went to a funeral recently and as I sat there and contemplated my mortality, as we all are wont to do in that situation, I prayed fervently and earnestly that the Lord would keep me on this earth until I am old and gray so that I may experience ALL that this earthly realm has to offer. He has the ultimate say, of course, but I have a responsibility to make sure that I keep myself as healthy and happy as possible so as to prolong the life I've been given.
So. What's YOUR driving force to lose weight and be healthy?