August 15, 2011

Friend Makin' Mondays -- The Driving Force

I got a lot of great traffic on last week's Friend Makin' Mondays post and frankly it just made MY day to write that letter to myself! 

It's Monday, which means it's time to play again!

Here's today's topic that Kenlie chose:

FMM: The Driving Force

What is the driving force behind your weight-loss?

Hmmm.  I could be very simple with this or I could get a little deep on you all....I'll try to find a balance, how's that?

If you click on the Healthy Living tab at the top of this blog, you'll get a quick rundown and some of my favorite links from when I started my weight loss journey up until fairly recently (a couple months ago...I should really update that page). 

When I started my weight loss journey, the driving force was that I hated the girl I saw in pictures.  It's a strong sentiment to say that I "hated" her, but....I kinda did. That's not the person I saw when I looked in the mirror.  I guess my self-image wasn't too terrible, huh?  But the cold hard facts were there: the number on the scale, the size on the tags of my clothes, and, if I'm honest, the way I felt every time I went shopping, got dressed, was around thinner girls, etc.  The part of me I buried down deep within me and convinced myself didn't exist because I was happy! I was accepted! I was talented! 

So I changed my lifestyle habits.  And I made a LOT of progress in one year

Then, once the weight started coming off and the attention started pouring in, I felt amazing.  I thrived on the attention and the compliments.  And if I'm honest...again...I focused too much on that part.  I started to lose myself a little bit and become a little bit more vain and self-focused than I should have been.  My relationship suffered some and my priorities were in the wrong place.

I had a bit of a wake up call after the 3-Day walk, when my feet and legs were way too banged up and painful to really work out like I had been.  I gained some weight back...along with some perspective.  There were other factors that helped with that...some relationship revelations...some spiritual growth and personal growth...etc.  (This is the part where I'll save you from a SERIOUS trip into Mandy's brain. You're welcome.)

So while of course there is still a driving force to want to fit into that One Special Size of jeans and to play that One Dream Role and to feel good about myself and be pretty and get compliments (don't tell me you don't love getting attention! the day I stop loving attention is the day hell freezes over!)....I'd say my driving force NOW?

I want to be healthy and live a long and fulfilling life.

I don't want the old laziness and complacency to return and be the cause of health problems.

I don't want the manic desire to be thin and pretty to return and cause problems in my mental and physical well-being so that I lose focus of the person I really am inside.

I want to maintain a healthy attitude towards my size and appearance and take pride in how I look, but I don't want it to define me. 

I'd rather be remembered for being joyful, happy, healthy and loving than for being hot.

I may always have thick legs...but they will carry me across finish lines and help me in lifting and chasing after my (someday) children.  I may always have a round behind, but it will never cease to be smacked when I walk by my husband. ;) 

Last thought:  I went to a funeral recently and as I sat there and contemplated my mortality, as we all are wont to do in that situation, I prayed fervently and earnestly that the Lord would keep me on this earth until I am old and gray so that I may experience ALL that this earthly realm has to offer.  He has the ultimate say, of course, but I have a responsibility to make sure that I keep myself as healthy and happy as possible so as to prolong the life I've been given. 

So. What's YOUR driving force to lose weight and be healthy?


  1. My driving force is to live a healthy life. I'd like to live as long as my great grandmother has...see my great grandchildren grow up one day.

  2. Hi there, stopping by from FMM.
    Thanks a lot for your comment this weekend was the first time I dared to go out wearing only the sports bra, and I must tell you I felt awkward and great at the same time. Now back to your post... WOW what a great post I'm totally there with you when you say the day you would stop loving the compliments hell will freeze over. Compliments are part of our showing success, we just need to learn to accept and enjoy them without loosing our main focus. I'm currently in the process of learning these skills as I continue my journey to longevity.
    Take care,

  3. I'm so glad that I found your blog through FMM. I saw you commenting on all the posts I was, and I knew I had to read more about you.

    I really love this post. It's a good reminder about not getting so caught up that we lose ourselves. Thank you for being so honest and self-aware.

    I'm adding you to my blogroll because I definitely want to read more!

  4. "I want to be healthy and live a long and fulfilling life."

    I can really relate to that... It seems at some point, our deeper selves know that this is something really special we're experiencing (LIFE).

    While at the start of eating better, exercising, losing weight, etc. this really gives an ego boost (almost like a "honeymoon phase"), as time goes on, it's the real foundational stuff, how much love we let ourselves feel, how much risk we take making the world better, how much we give (and receive) in spite of all the pitfalls, how we let ourselves think (or just plain stop thinking) and enjoy what is a finite amount of time here on earth, these are the things that truly shape us...

    And then at that point, the eating better/exercising is about keeping our vessel around for as long as we're lucky enough to be granted, and the real reward is every moment and emotion we are able to experience, while letting sometimes the hardest ways of real love and compassion be our compass.

    And coffee, it's also about coffee... And there's probably something about dogs and husbands, too ;)


  5. dropping by from FMM:
    its amazing how our motivation changes as we continue the journey. being healthy seems to be the ultimate goal in the end!

  6. Dropping by from FMM. I LOVE this post. I even followed the link to read about your progress, and then clicked around and read other stuff. Great blog! I LOVE the theatre. So envious that you get to participate in that life. And all those kisses?? Wow, it certainly was a good year for you ;)