August 18, 2011

Grumpy and Discouraged

I've written and deleted and re-written and deleted about three things this morning, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to publish this blog today. 

But sometimes we have to get real.

I'm grumpy.  I'm discouraged.  And I'm disappointed in myself.

I've made some good eating choices this week, but the weak moments have definitely triumphed.  and I feel gross because of it.

I've gone back to only taking pictures from the boobs UP because I'm unhappy with how soft I feel/look.  See above about poor eating choices. 

I'm so tired of being hot.  I can't make myself want to run at 6am when it's ONLY 89 degrees outside and when I WANT to run, it's 104.  So I don't go.  Therefore, I haven't run since last Thursday's cool run in the rain.

I am afraid to be this brutally honest because I've been so slammed for "spiraling" or having a "negative online personality" that I feel like everything that comes from my fingertips to this blog needs to be uplifting and sunshine and puppies and rainbows or else I'll be outcast (again).

I need some rejuvenation.  I need cool breezes.  I need to drink hot coffee drinks without sweating.  I need to be able to wear my scarves and long-sleeved tees again.

I'm ready for a shift/change in gears.

I feel restless and grumpy.

Anyone else out there feeling this?  Or is it just me (oh dear GOD I hope not)?


  1. i feel like all my fall clothes are taunting me every time i go near my closet.

  2. You make me PROUD, my friend. You know what, life ISN'T always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes its grumpy and discouraged. You have to be true to yourself, and I admire you getting those feelings out. I LOVE YOU!!!

  3. Oh that sucks that people make you feel like you need to censor yourself. This is YOUR blog. You get to write about whatever you want. They get to choose whether or not to read it. Ugh. I hate that. Anyway, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It's ok to feel that way from time to time. I hope it's over real soon.

  4. You know, I had been kinda feeling like your puppy/unicorn/rainbow/kitten content on the blog seemed a just a little bit low... No problem, I can help address that! :)

    There... your blog is absolutely perfect now! ;)

    This next thought is a bit out there, but... can you imagine what life would be like if you felt wonderful/content about everything that has happened in the last week or so? In a way, your body is trying to help you get motivated, it's just using "negative" feedback, but I think it's cool that it's trying to push you in the right direction, you're being gently reminded :) You'll get through this!

    And I think you can feel exactly however you feel, and have the freedom to express it... we're on this rollercoaster, ups and downs, just hang on, you've got it in you to live the life you want!

    Sending positive vibes! :)

  5. Definitely not just you. Is it possible to have SAD in the summer too? Ick! I am almost 10 months post partum now and still not back to my pre-baby-number-2 weight, which is 10 pounds away from my pre-baby-number-1 weight, which is 8 pounds away from where I'd like to be, and it's too darn hot to even take the kids for a walk in the park, much less go for a run! Hang in there. It can't be this hot for TOO much longer, can it? :/

  6. It is definitely okay not to be sunshine and rainbows on every single blog post. There are some bloggers that concentrate on the great, creative, happy things in their life. There are others that blog about their daily struggles. There are even a few that keep it balanced.

    This September weather should be great for your fitness goals! Good luck!