Sure, I won a blue ribbon a couple of times in elementary school for the Texas Wildflower contests (I remember one of the times I won, I totally threw that crap together at the last minute. It was some daisies on some black paper that I drew with white and yellow chalk, and smeared up "artistically," and I WON. The bar must have been really low, because I've seen that in recent years and it was total crap, I tell ya.)
Art, just like dancing, playing an instrument or reading/writing/easily understanding poetry, has just always completely fascinated me and made me feel just the tiniest bit frustrated that it didn't come easily to me. I know I shouldn't complain, because I know I'm good at other things. I'm a better than average singer, I think I'm a decent actor, and I think I have potential to be a pretty darn good director. I guess it's just that whole "grass is greener" cliché. I want to be good at ALL THE THINGS.
The other night, I went to Dan's Silverleaf in Denton, TX to see Julia Sinclair (again), Foreign Fields (more on them tomorrow, probably, for Tuesday Tunes...still processing their album that I bought!), and Seryn (AGAIN!), and watching so many freakishly talented musicians just trade off instruments and be incredible at all of them made my heart ache a little bit.
You know what...maybe it's not envy, so much as just...a respect that's hard to put into words. I see these incredible artists (musicians, visual artists, dancers, etc.) throwing every ounce of their bodies and souls into what it is that they're doing, and I guess it's kind of like my heart is aching in a non-painful way because it understands. I know what they're feeling and how it feels to express it in a passionate way through a medium other than just spoken words, and my heart is empathizing.
But back to visual art for a moment. A year ago (ho. lee. crap. it's been a YEAR you guys), when we did Café des Artistes, I was definitely the most envious and the least comfortable with the visual art portion of our exercises we did before constructing the show itself. My friends/castmates Danielle and Lindsey did an incredible job in the Visual Art portion of the show, both as actors and as artists.
My very favorite piece of art in my house right now actually came from that show. Danielle and Lindsey would each work on a drawing throughout the performance, and then I guess it would get either kept or tossed out each night so that they could start fresh each new evening. The piece that Danielle drew during our last performance just really called out to me, and I asked her if I could have it. She was gracious enough to give it to me. (I just wish I'd gotten her to sign and date it for me! BLAST!)
It's hanging up in my house, framed, and I love it. And, now that Danielle has moved to Chicago to pursue theatre, it's a wonderful reminder of her that I see every morning while I'm putting on my jewelry:
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